We’re going to take a wild guess here and say that you’re not going to be in the stands for Super Bowl 50. But that’s OK, because neither are we. And who cares, really? Football isn’t even the kind of sport that’s better in person than it is on TV [Ed. note: That would be hockey, and to a lesser extent basketball; going to a baseball game is its own separate magical thing, and not just because of the game. Anyway!], and it’s not like you want to see Coldplay, right? Right. Plus, it’d be pretty hard to justify dropping a pretty penny to watch two teams in the nosebleeds, when you can sit comfortably with pals and maybe a few rivals at one of your favorite dives, drunkenly cheering and booing each play. Here are our picks for where to watch the big game (and all the commercials) this Sunday.
The Bell House
The Bell House comes through on Super Bowl Sunday with $4 pints of Sixpoint, wings, and pulled pork sandwiches. So while Cam Newton might very well end up unanimous MVP of the game, at the Bell House, you’ll feel like the real MVP. (Of, like, eating wings and drinking cheap beer.)
149 7th Street, Gowanus
Let’s preface this by saying that if you’re a Broncos fan and don’t want to be shunned and ridiculed by the staff and other patrons, then Arrogant Swine is maybe not the place for you Sunday night since the Carolina barbecue and beer hall-owners are proud Panthers fans, and aren’t afraid to show it. On the other hand, if you’re a fellow Panthers fan, you can enjoy bourbon from Virgil Kaine while getting tatted with free temporary Carolina tattoos.
173 Morgan Avenue, Bushwick
It’s good to have options, right? Right. And bonus points if your alternative to non-stop football (and Coldplay) doesn’t even require you to leave the building. So thank the gods for Union Hall, which will be showing the Super Bowl in their bocce courts and bar upstairs (with a menu featuring nachos, corndogs, and beer cheese) while comedians the Sports Balls will be hosting—and heckling!—the Super Bowl downstairs.
702 Union Street, Park Slope
You know what people aren’t talking about enough as the Super Bowl inches forward? The Puppy Bowl, one of the greatest spin-offs from anything ever. Luckily, at Nitehawk, patrons will be able to watch those little balls of fur tussle on the field, with equally adorable kittens taking the field for the halftime purr-formance. Regionally appropriate drinks will also be available–Catdaddy Spiced Carolina Moonshine for the Panthers and Oskar Blues Dale’s Pale Ale for the Broncos–but we know we had you at “puppies.”
136 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg
A big game like the Super Bowl only calls for big things, like, say, 14 HD screens all broadcasting the game in full concert sound. Fifty would’ve have been perfect, but 14 will suffice.
61 Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg
House of Yes
This is the first time that House of Yes is hosting their own Super Bowl party, and they’re doing it with a bang. So expect an absurd, live halftime performance, your basic (and delicious) football snacks, cheerleaders (feel free to dress up as well!), and maybe, just maybe, a Gatorade shower.
2 Wyckoff Avenue, Bushwick
Is there one “perfect place” to watch the Super Bowl this Sunday? Maybe not, but 4th Down, with its passionate patron-sports devotees and its excellent TV set-up (to say nothing of the varied, affordable beer selection) is as close as it gets.
750 Grand Street, Williamsburg
Since its recent opening, Syndicated has been offering movie revivals in its dine-in cinema-restaurant-bar fusion. And come Sunday it will be featuring the big game at its full bar and live theater to accommodate a large crowd who want the cinematic experience of watching the Super Bowl. Can you blame them?
40 Bogart Street, East Williamsburg
What is a football game without a good ol’ fashion tailgate party? Kickoff Super Bowl Sunday the right way with $4 bottles and tap at Aces Sports Lounge of Aviator Sports, before easing into unlimited beer, wine, and soft drinks, a halftime buffet, a Samsung 58” raffle, and, of course the game.
3159 Flatbush Avenue, Mill Basin
If you ever had meats from Fleishers Craft Butchery then you probably understand how memorable a special menu from them at Threes Brewing is going to be that it doesn’t matter whether the Broncos or the Panthers win because at the end of the night you’re the real winner.
333 Douglass Street, Gowanus