Okay, it’s just before 5 PM on the Friday before 4th of July weekend. If your boss hasn’t let you start drinking yet, please show them this post. It’s time. Hey, I’m not even saying it necessarily has to be alcoholic (right away), but consuming libations is just as much part of your American heritage as capitalism, reality TV and the mythology of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Go get a coffee or a Dunkin Donuts overly-sugary smoothie. Pop open a La Croix! Or, say screw it to work and head over to your favorite bar. It’s America’s birthday–or well, the weekend leading up to it–which is just as important. Stay hydrated, stay thirsty, stay creative. Here’s 37 ways to achieve all three of those goals this weekend.
With or without a Kahlua spike depending on how hungover you are from previous weekend festivities.
2. Regular iced coffee because you don’t need that fancy ass coldbrew
Are we already to the fuck coldbrew phase? Man, I love coldbrew! I feel like my parents are fighting. At least there’s still caffeine in regular old iced coffee.
3. A homemade michelada.
It’s cheap and easy. Mix one (1) can Tecate or preferred Mexican beer of choice with approximately three (3) muddled lime slices, some salt, and your favorite hot sauce. I recommend Salsa Valentina, the best hot sauce in the world.
4. Get festive with a Blue Hawaii, the signature cocktail made with blue Curacao liqueur.
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You need a blender for this one. Mix blue Curacao, rum, pineapple juice, some coconut, and 1 (one) cup of ice in blender. Blend on high until smooth. Pour into any glasses you have, preferably they are chilled. You can also just mix the ingredients in a shaker and pour over ice if you don’t have a blender. But make sure to garnish the drink with a slice of pineapple, a maraschino cherry and those adorable little umbrellas. I love those!
5. Campari. On the rocks. Garnish with thick wedge of lemon or orange
See? You didn’t really have to do anything besides pour the alcohol and cut some citrus.
6. The easiest patriotic libation: white wine or champagne.
May I recommend UVA on Bedford Avenue and North 6th or my favorite wine store in Brooklyn, Vine Wine, on Lorimer and Skillman for their respective affordable and delicious selections of white and sparkling wine. And if you’re looking to expand your palate or impress some of your significant other’s garbage friends, select a Gruner Veltliner. People are generally unfamiliar with and it impresses them–plus it’s a crisp, clean and good type of white wine.
7. Florida Garbage Juice Drink
Combine white peach cran-grape juice, a bottle of white wine and a bottle of vodka in a giant cooler with sliced fruit. TKO.
8. If you’re going out and find yourself at Belle Shoals in Williamsburg, try the refreshing and near-perfect Aloe Spritz, created by Haley Forest. Or, try to recreate it at home.
The Aloe Spritz is as follows: 1.5 oz. Aperol, 3 oz. Prosecco, .75 oz. Chareau Aloe Liqueur, and soda water to the top. Build in shaker and shake with ice. Pour in wine glass over ice and garnish with a cucumber slice.
9. Make some Skittles-infused Vodka
Select red and blue flavors for patriotic-ness.
10. A watermelon infused with a bottle of vodka.
Can this count as a drink? Today it can. Make sure to let it sit for 24 hours or more so the fruit becomes fully intoxicated.
11. Neopolitan milkshake but with blue bubblegum ice cream as the third flavor
Yes, our Taste Talks editor Talia Ralph just made this up right now, yes she is a mad genius.
12. A Dunkin Donuts Blue Raspberry Coolata
Then snapchat an adorable pic of your blue tongue to all your friends. Treat yourself, YOLO, etc etc.
13. Blue + white + red GATORADE!
SPIKED WITH VODKA! BECAUSE AMERICA!
14. Need to bring something slick to a party? Here’s a really easy alcoholic popsicle that is half beer, half juice. It will score you points.
Sam Adams Summer “Ale-Fresca” Popsicle: Juice from 3 (three) small to medium sized lemons (make sure they smell aromatic, about 1/3 cup), juice from 1 (one) pink grapefruit (about 1/4 cup), 2 tbsp sugar, 1 (one) Bottle Summer Ale (Or honestly any other light beers you have on hand, but this one is lemony and citrusy and well-suited to mixing with juice. Plus it’s the 20th anniversary of the first year this stuff was released! Which is another excuse to celebrate/drink more of them), 1 tsp lemon zest, and 1 tsp grapefruit zest.
Juice the lemons and grapefruit. Combine the juice with sugar and stir until completely dissolved. Add the Sam Adams Summer Ale slowly to prevent too much foam from forming. Add the zests. Taste the mix and adjust the sweetness by adding 1–2 tbsp more sugar if needed. Use ice cube trays or 2 oz paper cups as ice pop molds. Pour the mixture into your molds. Cover with aluminum foil and poke tooth picks into the center of each one. The aluminum foil will prevent the stick from falling sideways. Allow to freeze overnight and enjoy!! Your friends will glare at you for outshining their hungover six-pack-lugging basic contribution.
15. Berry smoothie
Also probably spiked.
16. Sangria with blue + white + red fruit + berries
*Elle woods voice* I love patriotism!
17. Anything with a bunch of little American flags on toothpicks stuck in it.
I mean anything.
18. An Aperol Spritz!
The main alcohol here is prosecco. Other ingredients: 1 1/4 oz Aperol, splash of soda water. Preparation: Build into glass over ice, garnish with an orange wedge and serve in an old fashioned glass or in a wine glass. Try to break gender roles by serving the wine glass version only to men and the rocks glass version only to women. I love culture jamming on traditional holidays!
19. If you are feeling fancier–or find yourself at Middle Branch–try an Aperol Peach Spritz.
The Aperol Peach Spritz was created by Lucinda Sterling, who now runs Seaborne, back when she worked at Middle Branch. Here are the specs: 1 oz. Aperol, .5 oz. Peach liqueur, .5 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice, .5 oz. Fresh Orange Juice, and club soda or prosecco to top. Add the ingredients to a shaker with ice, shake gently and serve in a rocks glass over ice with the prosecco or dash of club soda.
20. Bottle of bourbon + gallon of lemonade + bunch of mint + ice
A party-sized whiskey smash–or as some know it, a Lynchburg Lemonade. I’m sure I could find a way to make a funny Paula Deen reference right now, but I already started drinking a michelada so I’ll leave that to you.
21. Moonshine from a cheap coffee mug
It’s what the Founding Fathers would’ve wanted for you.
22. Budweiser Raz-Ber-Rita
Or Lime-A-Rita. Or Straw-Ber-Rita. Or Mang-o-Rita. If you ask me why this is patriotic I will alert the FBI to add you to watch lists.
Of course. Don’t ask me what brosé is because I don’t know, I only know it is almost as in as frosé.
24. Another option if you’re out and about is the delectable Frozen Strawberry Negroni at Donna.
This beast of a drink was created by Jeremy Oertel. And again, if you want to try to make your own at home here is the recipe: 1 oz. Campari, 1 oz. Bulldog Gin, 1 oz. Cinzano 1757 Sweet Vermouth, .75 oz. Orange Juice, .5 oz. Simple, 1 (one) Strawberry. Method: Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. Garnish with a strawberry and orange slice.
25. Soak some of them red, white, and blue Ice pops in vodka
Do not, however, let any kids mistakenly get their hands on one. These are for grownups, sweetie.
26. Also, you could hollow out the middle of those ice pops and use them to take shots of vodka
Again, not recommended for kids.
27. Beer with red white and blue on the label
If you’re that lazy, I salute you. Nothing more American than that.
28. Bud Light Lime