Weep Not: Here Are The 10 Most Expensive Brooklyn Neighborhoods in Which to Buy A Home

Sorry, you will never own a home in Cobble Hill.

Time to play: In Which Brooklyn Neighborhoods Can I Absolutely Not Afford to Be A Home Owner?

Curbed reports Kings County’s top ten most expensive places to buy residential properties, using last year’s median sales prices, as calculated by PropertyShark. Are you ready to be depressed but not actually that surprised ten times? Then continue below for today’s exercise in facing stark financial realities in Brooklyn real estate.

10. Downtown Brooklyn
Median Sale’s Price: $839,492
What with the gigantic City Point commercial and residential development coming to the neighborhood this fall, and zoning changes to the Fulton Mall area that took effect in 2008—making it, in the words of Dekalb Market Hall’s Anna Castellani “a sitting duck” for development (and attendant price-hikes that would follow)—it’s no shocker that Downtown Brooklyn just got a lot more expensive for hopeful home owners.

9. Williamsburg
Median Sale’s Price: $900,600
The only surprise at finding Williamsburg on this list is that it falls this low in the rankings. It was, after all, perhaps the first neighborhood in Brooklyn that residents of Manhattan took refuge in after being priced out of their island homes (starting with The Edge development in the late aughts). Since then it’s not snow-balled so much as avalanched (we coined this word for the purposes of talking about real estate in Brooklyn), and continues to do so.

8. Columbia Street Waterfront District
Median Sales Price: $906,243
A busy highway—namely, the Brooklyn Queens Expressway—is a loud, residentially-unfriendly thing, but it’s also one, as Curbed points out, that created the Columbia Street Waterfront District (which would otherwise flow into the more expensive and neighboring Carroll Gardens and Cobble Hill). Nonetheless, the area has started to attract steep home sales of its own. The most expensive in 2015 is reported at 99 Kane Street, for $2.8.

7. Park Slope
Median Sales Price: $930,000
While Park Slope isn’t exactly “hot,” as in, where all the young successful singles are moving (or are they?), it is still an objectively gorgeous neighborhood chock full of jaw-dropping brownstones. And for that reason, 2015 saw Park Slope’s most expensive residential sale ever, a mansion on Prospect Park West for $12.4 million.

6. Boerum Hill
Median Sales Price: $939,728
Before Mile End, before Rucula—and before Smith Street, right next door, turned into the densely-populated commercial and drinking destination it has become—Boerum Hill would have seemed out of place here (I once paid $850 per month to live above a hot dog vendor storage unit on the corner of Nevins and Bergen Streets). But no more! Now, Boerum Hill is hot. Last year, the most expensive sale was for a townhouse that is on the National Register of Historic Places for $5.4 million.

5. Brooklyn Heights and Greenpoint
Median Sales Price: $950,000
Brooklyn Heights has been very nice and wealthy for a while, while Greenpoint is a relative new-comer — but no longer surprising addition — to this list. While the neighborhoods shared a median sales price last year, Brooklyn Heights took the cake for highest sale, at 81 State Street: $10.25 million for a townhouse.

4. Manhattan Beach
Median Sales Price: $1.125 million
Manhattan Beach—ding! ding! ding!—is where median sales cross over into the millions. But, excuse me? Manhattan Beach? This is not exactly a buzz neighborhood for people who want to live around a whole bunch of new restaurants and convenient businesses and transit options. You know what it is a buzz word for, though? Beach views. And whole detached homes, with yards. So, enough said there. The most expensive sale belongs to a big old mansion at 156 Dover Street for $4.4 million, according to Street Easy, just one block from the ocean.

3. Cobble Hill
Median Sales Price: $1.175 million
Here, we return to the thoroughly expected. Cobble Hill is beautiful, centrally-located, and teeming with fantastic restaurants and shopping (now including the corporate variety as well, like Lululemon). These money-attracting foundations in place, it is no surprise that Cobble Hill is host to the most expensive home in Brooklyn: $15.5 million for a property at 177 Pacific Street, bought by artist Jay Maisel, who, Curbed says, had a little spare change after selling his Bowery live- and work-space for $55 million in 2015.

2. Vinegar Hill and Carroll Gardens
Median Sales Price: $1.2625 million
Yes, this is a very precise median number to share, but the world is full of surprises. The fact that both of these neighborhoods are pricey is not shocking, however. They boast so much handsome real estate! Still, Carroll Gardens won out for highest sale last year: $4.55 million for a new townhouse at 294 A Sackett Street (as Curbed reports, built by the same people who did the residential conversation at the Woolworth Building).

1. Drum roll… Dumbo!
Median Sales Price: $1.41 million
Yes, Brooklyn’s favorite neighborhood for start-ups, fancy parks, and not that many convenient businesses—Dumbo—is also the eccentric little pocket that hosts the most expensive homes. Last year, the steepest one sold for $4.81 million, a townhouse at 175 Water Street.

Take a deep breath, don’t cry. Think of all the fun things you can do when you are not taking care of your very expensive home in Brooklyn (assuming these price points are a little high for your tastes and, well, wallets). For starters, think: vacations! All of them that you can now afford to take because you will not be buying one of these homes. When it comes to real estate in Brooklyn, a little sanity-giving silver lining never hurt.

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