A Bar To Bring That Friend Who Won’t Stop Talking About How Great Their Hometown Is
Now there’s a bar that caters to the type of person who never misses an opportunity to bring up how superior whatever bucolic hick parade/sprawling suburgatory/lesser metropolis they came from is to New York City! Kilo Bravo, a Williamsburg bar with a menu of 50 cocktails to represent each state, has just unintentionally created a watering hole for all the worst people in Brooklyn.
Naturally, we have nothing against Kilo Bravo, which sounds perfectly harmless: Located at N. 10th St between Bedford and Driggs Aves, the bar is set to open on Thursday and was co-founded by the owner of neighboring Soft Spot, reports DNAinfo. To complement the 50 drink–strong cocktail menu (nicknamed the “Road Trip”), Kilo Bravo’s theme is appropriately Americana-heavy, with rock-and-roll memorabilia, sandwiches, and exclusively domestic drafts and wine.
However, we’re expecting the place to be lousy with one-sided conversations in which acquaintances from Delaware passionately proclaim the many merits of Delaware-hood, which includes 1) being the first state and 2) nothing else, whilst sipping pompously on the “Blue Hen.”
But hey, we’ve all been that person. Whether it’s because we witnessed someone composting incorrectly and declare that “New Yorkers just don’t care about the environment the way people in my specific 3,429-person suburb of Portland, ME do,” or taken a bite of Mighty Quinn’s brisket and lamented the fact that we were not currently at Franklin’s Barbecue in our hometown of Austin and instead in the rainy East Village, or whether it’s because we accidentally mentioned we could really go for a maple creemee right now and realized everyone thought we were requesting a weird sex act because no one calls soft serve ice cream “creemees” outside of Vermont (which is ludicrous because creemee is the best word). Anyway, the difference is that we, as collective non-shitheads, realize that we are being shitheads when we talk about how much better our home is to New York City. Why? Because we chose to move here for a reason, and like most people who live in New York, we know better than to go to someone else’s hometown and talk about how much more sophisticated The City is.
And because we know you’re mainly just curious about which stereotype was used to create your home state’s cocktail, here is the full list, courtesy of DNAinfo:
State | Cocktail | Recipe |
---|---|---|
Alabama | Alabama Slammer | Amaretto, Soco, Slo Gin, splash oj & sour |
Alaska | Moose Cocktail | bourbon, apricot brandy, agno bitters |
Arizona | Tequila Sunrise | Tequila, Orange juice, grenadine float |
Arkansas | The Razorback | Vodka, Rum, Amaretto, Kahlua |
California | California Dream | Tequlia, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth |
Colorado | Mudslide | Vodka, kahlua, baileys |
Connecticut | Americana | Vod, cointreau, splash lemon j, champagne float |
Delaware | Blue Hen | Blueberry vod, chambourd, blue curacau, lime j |
Florida | South Beach | Orange vodka, citron vodka, cointreau, Lime juice, OJ |
Georgia | Scarlett O’Hara | Soco, lime j, cran j |
Hawaii | Aloha Motherfucker | vod, gin, rum, teq, triple, blue cura, sour |
Idaho | Whiskey Sling | blended whiskey, lemon j, sugar, water |
Illinois | The Chicago | Brandy, orange liquor, triple sec, bitters, champ float |
Indiana | Hoosiers Cocktail | vodka, light rum, dry vermouth |
Iowa | Iowa Sunrise | vodka, rum, lemonade, oj, grenadine, top sprite |
Kansas | KC Ice Water | vodka, gin, lime juice, spirite |
Kentucky | Mint Julep | bourbon, simple syrup, muddled mint, lime j, soda |
Louisiana | Hurricaine | vod, gin, rum, 151, amaretto, triple, pineapple, GF, gren |
Maine | Remember the Maine | Rye, sweet vermouth, cherry heerling, absinthe |
Maryland | Black Eyed Susan | vodka, rum, orange liq, pine, OJ |
Massachusetts | Cape Codder | vodka, cranberry, fresh lime, roses lime |
Michigan | The Automobile | gin, Scotch, sw. ver, orange bitters |
Minnesota | Mall of Amercia | bourbon, lemon juice, dry vermouth |
Mississippi | Mississippi Punch | brandy, rum, bourbon, lemon j, simple syr, water |
Missouri | Missouri Mule | bourbon, applejack, cointreau, campair, lemon j |
Montana | Montana Tornado | bourbon, gin, tequila, sprite |
Nebraska | The Cornhusker | corn whiskey, dry vermouth, sweet vermouth |
Nevada | Nevada Cocktail | rum, lime juice, grapefruit, simple syrup |
New Hampshir | The Alarm Clock | tequila, lime juice, coke |
New jersey | The Turnpike | vod, gin, rum, teq, triple, oj, cran, pine, grapefruit |
New Mexico | Spicy margarita | tequila, triple sec, oj, roses, sour, tabasco |
New York | The Bronx Cocktail | gin, sweet ver, dry ver, splash OJ |
North Carolina | Kitty Hawk | tequila, pink grapefruit, lime, simple |
North Dakota | Howlin’ Wolf | vodka, white cr de menth, blue curacao, sprite |
Ohio | BlueCollar SideCar | brandy, cointreau, lemon, blue cu, sugar rim |
Oklahoma | Fringe On Top | gin, lemon, st. germaine, champagne float |
Oregon | Cherry Temple | vodka, cherry liquor, champagne float |
Pennsylvania | The Philly Flyer | gin, fresh sour, sugar rim |
Rhode Island | Triple Esp Mart | espresso vodka, coconut rum, amaretto, choc rim |
South Carolina | Myrtle Beach | rum, peach schnapps, pine, cran |
South Dakota | The President | white rum, orange curacao, dry ver, dash grenad |
Tennessee | Lynchburg Lemonade | jack, triple sec, sour mix, sprite |
Texas | Suffering Baptist | corn whiskey, sloe gin, ag bitters, ginger beer, pine juice |
Utah | The Mountain Derby | bourbon, honey, lemon, grapefruit |
Vermont | The Old Vermont | gin, maple syrup, lemon j, oj, bitters |
Virgina | The Copper Barley | campari, sw verm, club soda |
Washington | The Grunge Band | Rye, coke, cran |
West Virginia | Coal Miner | dark rum, vodka, apple liquor |
Wisconsin | Mother’s Milk | vodka, baileys |
Wyoming | YellowStone Park | citron vodka, lemon j, sugar, mint, club soda |
Follow Rebecca Jennings on Twitter @rebexxxxa.