A Lone Cat Is Intimidating All Of Park Slope

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Turns out, all that campaign trail hysteria about Bill de Blasio and his soft-on-crime, hard-on-business policies plunging the city back to its brutal 1970s nadir is true. And it’s happening before he’s even officially won the election, or taken office! At least, it is in his own neighborhood, Park Slope, where things are looking real bad, according to DNAinfo. Reportedly, the neighborhood is suffering at the hands of a very mean cat.

A cat so mean that some locals are starting to put up fliers, or blast the cat in question with a garden hose if he so much as sets foot in their yards. “The absurdity of this whole thing is not lost on me,” said a local woman name Patricia, who posted fliers about the cat that some neighbors are now taking down and mocking with “dramatic readings.” “[But] it’s cost me $510 in vet bills, plus the aggravation. My poor cats, they’re driving me crazy because I can’t let them out.”

Which does sound like a pretty frustrating situation, not being able to let your cat out of the house for fear that it (or you) might be brutalized by someone else’s ill-behaved monster of a pet. And also would appear to be part of an ongoing wave of perturbing animal-on-human crimes? In any case, seems like a pretty opportune moment for the Guardian Angels to have re-surfaced, as the Times reported this weekend. We’re in for a truly terrifying few years.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.