I Translated Heathers Into Emoji Because I Couldn’t Sleep Last Night
By Kristin Iversen
The Fab Four
Someday, when my grandchildren ask me what I did during the not-exactly-what-I’d-call-great-but-it-got-the-job-done-the-job-being-reminding-me-to-get-groceries Blizzard of 2015, I will tell them the tale of how I couldn’t sleep and was texting with a friend who was watching Heathers and then decided that there could literally be no better use of my time then to translate one of the best, most quotable high school movies of all time into emoji. Because if any movie was designed for emoji, it’s Heathers. And so, while it was a mighty task I took on in the middle of the blizzard last night, if you want to fuck with the eagles, you’ve got to learn how to fly, you know? Oh, you know. I know you do.