It’s Official: Even If You Want to Order Seamless Tonight, You Can’t


You know these people wouldn’t have ordered Seamless. It didn’t exist then anyway.
Here’s the thing about snowstorm etiquette in New York: No matter how often people are reminded not to be giant dicks, they STILL act like giant dicks, because, like, who will ever find out? Perhaps the most egregious example of this behavior is how people have no shame when it comes to ordering from restaurants, even when it’s clearly dangerous for delivery guys to be out on bikes—or even in cars. This is terrible! Seriously terrible. And I don’t want to hear any arguments about how it’s good for the restaurants to get business and make money. If it’s that important to you to support local businesses (which, cool, you’re so great, aren’t you), then go out and pick up the food yourself, you know?
Anyway, Seamless! The thing that Seamless has done by providing a way of ordering food that involves absolutely no human interaction at all until you come face-to-face with the man delivering your food, is that it’s made it easier than ever for the average person to order food without thinking of the human component. In short, it’s made it easier for even the less dickish among us to become total dicks. But luckily for your local deliveryman, the city government has stepped in and prevented New Yorkers from being their very worst selves.
At his press conference earlier this afternoon, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced a travel ban for all vehicles other than emergency ones after 11pm, and even specifically called out “food delivery bicycles” as being “not an emergency vehicle.” This means that it is basically illegal to order Seamless later on tonight. But, of course, besides being illegal, it would be completely unethical to do it at any time before 11pm. Be creative and make something inventive from basics you can get at your bodega. If big-time chefs can do it, so can you.
Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen