Not that there aren’t more important things to think about than Brooklyn real estate, but we’re only human and we like to distract ourselves from the horrific actions of, for example, our government, by laughing at the idiocy of the very wealthy. Hey, we do what we can to get through the day, you know?
And so, in the spirit of ignoring the rest of the world if only for a little bit, today we welcome a new entry in the category of “what I would never ever do if I had multiple millions of dollars to spend on a gorgeous, historic Clinton Hill mansion.” Exciting! Curbed drew our attention to a Crown Heights mansion that used to be home to a former New York City mayor (the Hon. Jimmy Walker) as well as a mayor of Brooklyn (yes! that used to be a thing), and which just sold for a cool $6.5 million. The 9,000-square-foot mansion, described by the sellers as “SPLENDID BEYOND BELIEF,” was originally purchased for $1.75 million in 2009, and then went through a gut renovation valued at about $3.75 million before being put on the market last May for $9.75 million. But, reader: It didn’t sell!
Why not? Well, you can check out all the horrifying photos on Curbed, but basically, the flippers had pretty atrocious taste and covered the bedroom floors in the kind of wall-to-wall carpet that is just one step above Astroturf, used an orange-tinted wood for cabinetry that clashes wildly with the home’s original dark fixtures, and installed some of the ugliest bathroom tiles that I’ve ever seen. So it’s kind of no wonder that when the house finally sold, it was for 30% under asking price. The new owners have a lot of fixing up to do—pretty much everything but the exterior and the backyard in my opinion. All of which just goes to show, that money not only can’t buy class, but it apparently can’t even hire a decent interior designer.
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