Ho Ho Hell No: SantaCon Not Coming To Bushwick

Look at this shit. Just look at it.
Look at this shit. Just look at it.

A couple of days ago, our own Margaret Eby asked the very necessary and pertinent question “what have we done to deserve SantaCon in Bushwick?” The answer, of course, was nothing, because only widespread and repeated violations of basic human decency deserve repayment in the form of the scourge of SantaCon, and we here at Brooklyn Magazine believe that the people of Brooklyn are fundamentally decent people.

Still, a few days ago it seemed that, come December 13th, 30,000 drunk frat bros behaving as if their Santa suits were invisibility cloaks would clog the good streets of Bushwick. An insensate mass, they would be impervious to the rancor and despair accompanying their arrival, like a snowstorm of selfish intentions and bodily fluids.

So amNewYork’s report last night that SantaCon will not, in fact, come to Bushwick this winter is something to celebrate this holiday season. Although the reason it’s not coming doesn’t inspire confidence for whichever neighborhood SantaCon 2014 will decimate instead: “Organizers of the annual costumed holiday pub crawl said in a statement Wednesday evening that they’ve decided Bushwick’s not big enough for the event.”

So, yeah, that means SantaCon’s organizers fully expect the event to be the overcrowded shitshow it was last year. At least they’re being honest. Pity the poor neighborhood chosen as the new site of the onslaught.

Follow Phillip Pantuso on Twitter @phillippantuso.


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