New York Feels Like 9 Degrees This Morning, Stay In Bed

Actual visual representation of future arctic hellscape New York will become or still from Day After Tomorrow?

It is so cold out. How cold? Cold enough that yesterday, every state in the union had temperatures at or below freezing. (“What about Hawaii?” you ask snidely. Yes, even Hawaii.) How cold? Cold enough that six feet of snow hit Buffalo last night, so much that the National Guard was called out. Four people died as a result of the snow. How cold? The windchill in New York City this morning is 9 degrees. That’s not a typo: NINE.

And quick reminder: This is just mid/late November we’re talking about. What does this even mean for February? I saw an icicle outside yesterday, people. An icicle before Thanksgiving is more frightening than spotting Christmas decorations in September. What is this, Chicago? Is nowhere safe?  What polar vortex/arctic blast/miserable weather god have we so irked, and can we appease them somehow by sacrificing something?

I guess the good news is that tomorrow the windchill will only be in the teens. That’s practically shorts weather.