This Terrifying Clown Terrifying Green-Wood Cemetery? Is Definitely a Hoax

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In a story that seems to come straight from either the pages of a Stephen King novel (well, one Stephen King novel) or the streets of Staten Island (which, why hasn’t anyone set a horror story in the red-headed step-child of boroughs yet? why?), a man dressed up as a clown has allegedly been stalking the grounds of Green-Wood Cemetery. 

Via South Slope News, “Matthew Eck, who describes himself in his Twitter bio as a ‘Visual Artist, Curator, Extraordinaire'” sent in photos of a clown who is “haunting” the famous cemetery and claimed that the clown, “was loitering around a lot of gravestones nearby 34th and 5th ave… kinda by a little lake. He was very timid and ran away whenever [Eck] got closer.” Eck also reports that he found “a Build a Bear bag nearby… that had a womans umbrella and a bag of fritos.”

The South Slope News is skeptical (for, well, obvious reasons) and makes sure to mention that of all places to stage a stunt like this, perhaps a literally sanctified area is not ideal. And, in fact, officials at Green-Wood Cemetery told the Brooklyn Eagle, that they are “unamused” and would like visitors to adhere to Green-Wood’s code of conduct which includes the request that people “be respectful of funeral services and those visiting loved ones.” Which seems like a simple enough request!

Of course, because everyone hates is terrified of loves a clown, and also because it’s summer and so the media pretend like nothing is happening, lots of outlets are reporting on this clown story as if there’s actually a real life Pennywise wandering through the grassy grounds of Green-Wood, where he is maybe hanging out with that pregnant tarantula, Penelope, that everyone was so excited about last week. Or, you know, maybe it’s all just part of the lamest stunt we’ve yet to hear of? Yeah, probably that.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen

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