Horrifying New Bike Accessory: Novelty “Skinsuits”

By Virginia K. Smith

We’re always up for a weird new bike accessory, and the Atlantic Cities has turned up a doozy: these “bikini” and “muscle man” skinsuits, courtesy of Florida-based Podium Cycling. The male version is quite something, too:

Inevitably, the marketing copy for the suits (which feature “leg grippers” to prevent “flapping”) is a joy:

Pecs, shoulders and even abs! No, this isn’t an infomercial for a workout program. Instead, it’s part of what you’ll get when you order the muscle man skinsuit. As you can see from the pictures, whether you’re sitting on your bike or standing near it, you’re going to look quite enviable. All laughs aside, this skinsuit isn’t only designed for its visual appeal. Instead, its endurance fabric and conveniently located zipper ensure that it will provide the performance you need for as long as you’re out cycling. So if you’re generally happy with your training progress but feel that a few cat calls are the only thing missing from your rides, slipping into this skinsuit is guaranteed to bring some attention your way.

As the Atlantic Cities points out, there’s possibly an argument to be made here that there are real road safety benefits to wearing such a hard-to-ignore outfit, and we’re sure that’s the reason most people are snapping these up. But the company also makes the suits in “Pee Wee,” “Spiderman,” and “Tuxedo” themes, y’know, if you’re really that concerned about keeping your dignity intact.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.