Conspiracy Theory of the Day: The “Brooklyn Nets” Brand Was Stolen From a Man With a Crazy, Crazy Website

Screenshot via Brooklyn-Nets.TV

Just what we needed on a cold, Gchat-less Monday: the website of Ambassador Dr. Francois de Cassagnol, who claims to be the owner and originator of the “Real Brooklyn Nets Global iConic Signature Brands” and the “Brooklyn Nets Entertainment Network,” which our local basketball team has just been illegally co-opting this entire time. (Many, many thanks to Fucked in Park Slope for digging this up.)

There’s a lot to wade through here, but the gist is that Cassagnol allegedly invented the Nets trademark, and as such, “any un-authorized use by the Brooklyn Nets Pirates in Brooklyn and the Brooklyn Nets Pirates in New York City, constitutes FLAGRANT & SHOCKING THEFT of Amb. Dr. Minister de Cassagnol’s Intellectual Properties and multiple Cease & Desist Notices have been issued to these Brooklyn Nets shameless Pirates in Brooklyn and those Bald-Faced Brooklyn Nets Pirates at the Olympic Tower in New York City for their flagrant thievery and their brazen unabashed piracy of Minister Dr. de Cassagnol’s properties but to no avail.”

The site also includes numerous open letters to the Secretary of Commerce, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, “The Honorable Members of the New York City Congressional Delegation,” and of course, Pope Francis. From the latter missive:

“God, we need your divine intervention to please send a Strong Message to the Brooklyn Nets’ Pirates in Brooklyn and in New York City at the Opympic Tower that you, God has NOT given to them, any God Given Rights to pirate the Dr. Cassagnol Brooklyn Nets’ Global Brands and ripping off Minister Dr. de Cassagnol, every day on and off the internet specially in Brooklyn, New York; […] Pope Francis, please ask everyone in the world, specially in New York City and in Brooklyn to pray for these Brooklyn Nets’ Pirates because these folks have a lot of difficulties understanding that the Dr. Cassagnol’s Intellectual Assets are NOT theirs for their taken and they must take financial responsibilities of their misusage and abuses of the Dr. Cassagnol trademarked Brooklyn Nets’ global brands and again Pope Francis, please ask God to pray for these pirates in order to stop abusing and pirating our Global Brands without any permission.”

So, we’ll see how this plays out, but hope you didn’t buy too much of that fraudulent Nets merch. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. You may recall, also, the problems the Nets ran into early on with a mysterious company named “Cyber Mesa” sitting on the domain name in hopes of gouging Mikhail Prokhorov for a ton of money (not the worst idea for a con we’ve ever heard).

In other, more perturbing Brooklyn lawsuit news? The NYPD is currently being sued after officers allegedly arrested two men back in 2012 for refusing to hand over their White Castle burgers. Not a great day justice in the borough, we’d say.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.

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