Fake Trees Because You Care About the Environment
You know how in that Charlie Brown Christmas special, Lucy likes fake trees that are all sorts of unnatural colors and we’re all supposed to think that’s terrible and feel sympathetic toward the ugly, little tree that Charlie Brown likes just because it’s natural and real? Ugh. I always hated that. Isn’t part of the great thing about being human that we get to improve on nature? Nature can sometimes be beautiful, sure. I’ve seen all your sunset Instagrams. Not bad! But also, nature can be ugly. Or, even if you don’t think nature can be ugly, even if you think that nature is only beautiful, then why do you want to viciously chop nature down and watch it slowly die in your living room for a whole month? What kind of a perverse monster are you? Get a fake tree and be good to the environment! The big box stores mentioned before sell an abundance of fake trees, but just because you’re buying from a huge corporation, doesn’t mean you can’t decorate locally. Here’s where to go to get some great ornaments for your fake, fake tree.
The Clay Pot: 162 7th Avenue, Park Slope
Sterling Place: 363 Atlantic Avenue, Boerum Hill
Swallow: 361 Smith Street, Carroll Gardens
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