5 Reasons Why Bill de Blasio Should Stay in Brooklyn Instead of Moving to Gracie Mansion

c/o nyc.gov
One of the perks of being mayor of New York is getting to live in Gracie Mansion, the historical riverside home that has served as the residence of the city’s mayors since Fiorello LaGuardia moved there in 1942. The stately house was built in 1799 and is renowned for, among other things, hosting the 1801 meeting of New York Federalists (including Alexander Hamilton) that resulted in the founding of the newspaper that would one day evolve into the New York Post. And the original footage for the Yule Log was shot in the mansion’s fireplace. Also, Gracie Mansion is in Ghostbusters II, so it doesn’t really get any better than that. Well, I guess the first Ghostbusters would be better, but still. However, the house hasn’t been used as a residence for some time now, because Mayor Bloomberg declined to live there during what Juli Weiner on VanityFair.com notes was his “1,000-year reign.” Which makes sense, really, because there is no doubt in my mind that Bloomberg’s own Upper East Side mansion is approximately a million times nicer than Gracie Mansion. But even before Bloomberg took office (and, yes, kids, there was a time before Bloomberg was in office) Rudy Giuliani was unable to live at Gracie Mansion for a while because the Gracie Mansion rules prohibit anyone other than the mayor and his family from sleeping there, and since Giuliani was divorcing his wife and wanted to live with his then-girlfriend, now-wife, Judy Nathan, old Rudy had to go elsewhere.
But so, forget about those other mayors. There’s a new mayor in town, and one of the many, many questions Bill de Blasio is being asked is whether or not he and his family will relocate from Park Slope to the Upper East Side. The New York Observer’s Politicker reports that de Blasio is still undecided due to “reluctance from his teenage son, Dante de Blasio, about leaving their Park Slope home.” Dante, of course, goes to high school at Brooklyn Tech in Fort Greene, which is a 15-minute G train ride away from Park Slope. Which, Dante takes the G! The de Blasios really are just like us. But also, his new commute would take approximately forever to get to from Gracie Mansion, which isn’t just on the Upper East Side, but way the hell over on the water, where it’s quite a hike to the 4/5/6. Plus, what teenage kid wants to leave the home that he’s always known, which is close to his school and probably near a lot of his friends to go live on teh Upper East Side? Look, the UES is a great place to spot well-dressed old ladies walking their little dogs, but that’s probably not much of a selling point for a high school boy. De Blasio says that the issue is still being discussed though, so I wanted to throw out a few other reasons why the new first family of New York should stay in Park Slope instead of moving to Manhattan.