The Weirdest Story About Biking in Brooklyn You Will Read Today

Could still be weirder, I guess.
  • Could still be weirder, I guess.

Well, unless you have a weirder one, in which case I’m happy to hear it. But for now top honors go to the person interviewed by DNAinfo who was hit by a nine-ounce bottle of mayonnaise (Hellman’s, specifically) while riding his bike home in Fort Greene on Friday night.

It would seem the incident is part of a trend. “I noticed a box of spaghetti splattered on the ground, and then a honey mustard bottle splattered on the sidewalk, a Kraft ranch dressing bottle on the ground which was splattered on a parked car, other food splattered on the hood of another parked car, more food splattered on the roof of another car, and a bottle of Welch’s jelly splattered on the road,” Stephen Arthur (who was more seriously hit by a brick while biking in 2011) told the site.

Lots of splattering. Seemingly, the mayo came from an as-of-yet un-apprehended group of people tossing groceries off a local rooftop. Which seems like sort of a shitty, wasteful, less-fun alternative to classic water (or pudding) balloons, but regardless. This is the weirdest story about biking in Brooklyn we have heard today. Glad no one was hurt, and hope to hear something more innocuously bizarre soon.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.

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