If you want another reason to shake your fist at Mother Nature in a fit of impotent rage, I’ve got a good one for you. Thanks to the devastation wrought by Hurricane Sandy, Fire Island’s famously nude-friendly Lighthouse Beach will not be so nude-friendly anymore. The New York Times reports that “the last major sanctuary in the state to frolic in the ocean without a swimsuit, Lighthouse Beach on Fire Island, will begin enforcing a state ban on nudity,” because Sandy wiped out the beach’s dunes which “provided a buffer for those in the buff.” In addition to the loss of dunes, officials had begun to worry about corrupting the innocent, nudity-fearing public. You see, the crowds of people coming to the nude-friendly beach had “become larger and the behavior coarser,” and so, you know, won’t somebody please think of the children, or whatever. Somebody must always think of the children.
Even if you are not personally inclined toward nude beaches and the naturist lifestyle (which, “naturist” is different than the “naturalist” even though they are spelled almost exactly the same way—confusing!) it is a bit dispiriting to think that there are fewer and fewer places to go for the people who do like to let it all hang out. And beyond the shutdown of Lighthouse Beach, the news that the beach at Fort Tilden will not be reopening this summer means that all the people who used to explore their naturist side there will also have to keep covered. So what are the alternatives for everyone who understands that the best part of New York’s scorching summer is to take off as many articles of clothing as possible? Well, I’ve done some research and feel confident that if you want to be naked this summer, there will be a place for you. And, in fact, you could even go get naked at a couple of these places now if you’re into that sort of thing. I mean, it’s the human body. We all have one. Some are better than others, sure. But they’re all fun to look at for one reason or another. (I think that’s the reason people like nude beaches, though I might be wrong.)