The Greenpoint Sewage Tour: A Wildly Popular Valentine’s Day Option

Newtown Creek

Ah, Valentine’s Day. It is finally upon us. And stop right there, I already know what you’re thinking. “Poop.” You were thinking about poop, right? That’s sort of what this holiday is all about, after all. “Doo-doo” is right up there with “lasting, unconditional love” when it comes to important factors in the circle of life.

So it totally makes sense that people have apparently been clamoring for Valentine’s Day tours at the Newton Creek sewage treatment plant, courtesy of the Department of Environmental Protection. Doesn’t it? Per the AP:

“The Department of Environmental Protection is again offering Valentine’s Day tours of the Newtown Creek sewage treatment plant in Brooklyn’s Greenpoint section.

The DEP says it’s offering three tours this year due to “overwhelming demand.”

The 9:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. tours were quickly filled. So another was added at 11 a.m. Thursday.

Highlights include the plant’s giant egg-shaped digesters, which break down noxious waste into harmless sludge and gas.

During last year’s tour, the plant’s gung-ho superintendent warned the visitors a digester egg was about to emit a foul odor. It didn’t disappoint.”

Aww, you guys! A piece of equipment shaped like an egg? Sort of makes you think of babies, doesn’t it? “Foul odor?” Little bundles of joy make those! It’s crazy, no matter what you do on Valentine’s Day, even if it’s an activity specifically designed to be subversive and/or maybe educational, seems like there’s no way to avoid thinking about scary, high-pressure aspects of your relationship. Or, at the very least, about the overwhelming amount of human feces that inundates our environment on a daily basis. Kinda fun and kooky how that works isn’t it? What a great holiday this is.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.

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