How to Stay Warm When It’s So Cold You Want to Die

Dressing like a yeti is one way to stay warm.
  • Dressing like a yeti is one way to stay warm.

I should probably start off by saying that I don’t really mind the cold. I don’t even mind the kind of extreme cold weather that we’re having right now that seems to make every single other person I know want to die. But since I know that I’m alone in that opinion, I thought it couldn’t hurt to round up some ways to stay warm in the cold. Some of these might be things you’re already doing. Some of these might be things you’d never think to do in a million years and you’ll be kissing your screen with joy as you read this BUT be careful not to kiss your screen if you’re outside because maybe your tongue will get frozen and get stuck to the screen (I have to assume you’re kissing with tongue) and then I’ll feel bad. I will probably never know about it, but still, I’ll feel bad. And do you really want to add to my guilty conscience? No, I didn’t think so. So keep your tongue in your mouth. Thanks.

Around Brooklyn

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  1. Seriously, can we please stop writing ‘articles’ in this horribly twee, run-on-sentence, OMG puppies! once? Can you hire a real writer, please?

  2. Sorry (not for what I said, but for how poorly I said it). What I meant to say was, why do so many female writers sound like idiots writing for blogs like this one? Why has the default voice of women online become one of childish idiocy and embarrassing tween obsession?

    It’s just so BORING to hear another fourth-rate cultural reference (ooh, Keshia Knight Pulliam), and to have to realize that a grown person is actually taking the time to try and be clever writing abut puppies and blanket forts. Actually, it’s depressing. Like using a famously abused famous woman and her abusive partner to illustrate cuddling: so, so, so tacky.

    Women (and not just) have more important things to say, even on the admittedly fluffy subject of Keeping Warm, and there are plenty out there who could say it better…. And, though it may surprise you, they have more important things to do than build blanket forts, I’m sure.

    Brooklyn, you can do better.

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