NYU Hipsters Justifiably Hate Children


Alright, so that headline is a little misleading. It’s a little blogging trick known to true insiders as “traffic baiting.” But it’s sort of true! One NYU student in particular, junior Shasten Snellgroves — unclear whether or not she, is, in fact, a hipster — has filed a complaint after being forced to live with her roommate’s 4-year-old child. Which, while a very good premise for a low-key sitcom, is a pretty terrible college living situation.

After all, horrible college apartments are supposed to be about constantly hearing your roommate’s weird sex (even if the person they’re sleeping with has his own, vacant apartment 5 minutes away, aaaaaaah! Christ! I am still so mad about that!), not seeing the real, poop-creating results of said sex.

Anyway, Snellgroves’ letter to NYU administration was pretty incredible, full of actually plausible questions, such as “What (if) the child slips in the hallway or bathtub and sustains a serious injury? Who is going to stop the child from opening the refrigerator and drinking my bottle of wine?”

Who indeed! “I now have to change the way I live my life due to the fact that a child will be a frequent quest in the apartment,” Snellgrove added.

That part is a little less sympathetic — after all, being forced to live with other people is all about changing the way you “live your life,” unfortunately — but this does seem like a pretty obvious, crazy, and fixable infringement on NYU’s already-lenient guest policy. It also seems like a person who’s planning to bring a small child with them to college might have thought ahead to ask for specific accommodations, but hey, everyone’s parenting style is different, I guess. The future for this kid will definitely be great.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.

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  1. Aren’t hipsters children–adultlescents.? What if these kidults slip in the hallway or bathtub because s/he is too busy instagramming her/himself and admiring her/his reflection from the puddle of water on the bathroom tile and sustains a serious injury? Who is going to stop the hipster child from opening the refrigerator and drinking the artisanal breast milk infused with alcohol distilled and fermented from quinoa and kale?