Here’s the deal: People who don’t like Christmas music are the worst and they are not to be trusted. I assume we are on the same page with this, yes? Good then. But here’s another thing: there is actually an unbelievable amount of terrible Christmas music, and it can be difficult digging through all of it to find the good stuff. Basically, for every “All I Want For Christmas is You,” there are five total throwaways like “Oh Santa.”
With some effort, though, you can put together a playlist—individual songs tend to work better than full-lengths, which are often spotty—that will serve as the perfect soundtrack to your every December, whether you’re cooking, cleaning the apartment, drinking alone in your living room or hosting an actual Christmas party. The key with any such list, I believe, is to achieve the correct combination of dopey lighthearted stuff, crushingly sad classics and even a handful that will inspire drunk people to dance and or sing along. On the following pages, (or in this handy Spotify playlist), you’ll find the 35 songs I turn to over and over again.