Screw You, Columbus. Today We Celebrate Leif Ericsson, Who Came to America 500 Years Before That Other Guy.


Today is Leif Ericsson Day. A little known fact is that every October 9th, Norwegian-Americans secretly perform blood sacrifices to the ancient Norse gods in honor of the first European to ever set foot on American soil. By the way, when I say that these blood sacrifices are a “fact,” what I actually mean, is that probably nobody does them at all. But you never know! Norwegian-Americans are pretty hard core.
No lesser literary light than David Foster Wallace wrote a poem celebrating the vikings. Sure, he wrote it when he was just a child, but it still goes to show that the glory of the vikings attracts the attention of geniuses. And what did young DFW have to say about vikings?