Brooklyn’s Most Expensive House Just Got Cheaper

Hey there, bargain hunters: in case you were looking to purchase the most expensive freestanding house in all of Brooklyn but your thriftiness got the better of you, just a heads-up that the asking price has now been slashed by 23 percent!

The 9,200-square-foot Gravesend palace, which boasts seven bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms, has been marked down from its ostentatious original $14 million asking price to a totally modest $10.8 million. Time to crack open the piggy banks, no?

And if you’re worried that future guests won’t viscerally understand the insane amount of money you spent to live there, let this description put your fears to rest:

“Immediately upon entry, one is greeted by a grand multi-level art-nouveau staircase accented by artisan wrought iron panels finished with newel posts. Above this, a substantial dome skylight allows natural light to permeate all three levels and a Vienna imported, hand-etched, crystal chandelier. The stunning tile inlay marble entry is flanked by living and dining spaces and encapsulated by a barrel ceiling supported by decorative, candlestick lit sconces and accented by traditional wainscoting. This room subtly leads to a kitchen equally apt for large families and entertaining.”

Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just be in the corner reading my bank statements and crying quietly.