Yuppie Moms Now Taking Pills So They Can Breastfeed More


Like most good Americans, new moms are increasingly taking pills they don’t need at all, for no good reason. These ones supposedly help to generate more breast milk, i.e. one of the things women have been doing since the beginning of time, and that also now has a viable medical alternative.

This latest yuppie nonsense comes to us courtesy of a rare combined effort from both the judgmental hippie and the powerful white guy communities, who have both increased pressure in recent years for women to breast feed, breast feed, and BREAST FEED SOME MORE, regardless of any qualms such as fussy babies, cracked, bloody nipples, or, you know, full-time employment.

Apparently, the pills — which supposedly increase volume and quality of breast milk — might not even work, and experts say the studies surrounding them have been spotty and unprofessional at best.

“We have to get a reality check here,” said the medical director of Beth Israel Hospital’s gynecology department. “You get an ‘A’ for effort for breastfeeding. This cannot be an obsession. You can’t take the risk of your life.”

The risk he refers to is the inevitable side-effects involved in sketchy medications, which in this case include cardiac problems, depression, death, and according to the FDA, a possibly permanent Parkinson’s-esque movement disorder known as tardive dyskinesia.

This has not deterred everyone. One popular drug, Domperidone, isn’t even FDA-approved, but mothers continue to order doses online via Canadian pharmacies, and one woman took to an online fertility forum to call it a “wonder drug.”

Sounds totally worth it.

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