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Last night, America's first couple—Beyoncé and Jay Z, obviously—took the stage at the Grammys, performing "Drunk In Love," a song which includes sentiments familiar to everyone who's ever been married, things like "can't keep your eyes off my fatty/ Daddy, I want you/ drunk in love, I want you " and, of course, "your breasteses are my breakfastes." In other words, as Audrey Gelman put it on twitter, "so this is what being married is like,...

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