It’s happening for real now. That litany of disasters is being sworn in, in front of the world, in front of every single mediocre performer available, including a christian comedian named Chondra Pierce and 3 Doors Down (try watching Kryptonite for a glimpse of the naked old man holding a dirty pigeon; apt).
Here’s a weird thought—after Friday, January 20th 2017, we’ll never see Trump’s name naked, alone, but preceded always by “President”. I feel cold.
So do something about it! New York City, and Brooklyn specifically, have some real civic-minded, drink-minded, and uterus-minded protest events happening this weekend. Get with it, and get out there.
————THURSDAY, JANUARY 19————
MICHAEL MOORE + CELEBRITY RALLY
The honorable Michael Francis Moore, documentarian, is hosting a rally in front of Trump Hotel in Columbus Circle tonight at 6 p.m. Alec Baldwin, The Reverend Al Sharpton, Robert De Niro, Rosie Perez, and Mark Ruffalo are putting their butts on the line, too—and when have you seen Bobby D get out of bed for less than a cucumber martini? Oh! And Bill de Blasio will be there, too. That makes one Bobby D, one Billy D, one Ally B, one Revvy Al, one Rosie P, one Mikey M, and one Marky R. Those last two just kind of sound like roll-call, don’t they? Oh well. The rally’s gonna be 🔥.
TRUMP INTERNATIONAL HOTEL, COLUMBUS CIRCLE — 6:00PM
————FRIDAY, JANUARY 20————
(AKA Doomsday AKA Watch Your Butts AKA Donald J. Trump’s Presidential Inauguration)
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT TACO BREAKFAST BUFFET
The folks (to borrow a word our dear President Obama loved) at Rose’s aren’t usually morning people, but this morning seemed different (duh). They’re “summoning good vibes for the new age” by eating delicious tacos. A lot of delicious tacos. Bloody Marys and micheladas are also all-you-can-drink!
ROSE’S — 10:00AM
MARATHON READING OF “LET AMERICA BE AMERICA AGAIN”
Poets, activists, community members and writers read Langston Hughe’s poem “Let America Be America Again” every half hour. He wrote this poem in 1935. 1935. 1935!!!!!!! It’s free—a free tour of the museum’s collections will start at 2 p.m.
BROOKLYN MUSEUM — EVERY HALF HOUR FROM 11:00AM – 6:00PM
THANKS, OBAMA: A DANCE PARTY FUNDRAISER
Two Call Box Lounge dance party veterans plan to play enough, and loudly enough, to “dance yourself clean.” Will any amount of ass-shaking rid you of the incredibly slimy feeling that Donald J. Trump is swearing to protect and represent the citizens of the United States of America on the same Bible that President Lincoln used? God shivers. No amount of ass-shaking could ever cure this, but we can try. It only costs $5 at the door, and all proceeds benefit Doctors Without Borders. Plus, everybody knows there’s no better dance party than a Call Box dance party.
THE CALL BOX BAR & LOUNGE — 9:00PM – 4:00AM
FOLEY SQUARE INAUGURATION PROTEST: NYC STAND AGAINST TRUMP
The Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), Socialist Alternative, and other groups organized this march as a protest specifically against the inauguration. The protest starts in Foley Square and then marches to the Trump Building at 40 Wall Street. If protests had radical grades from R to not-so-R, this one would definitely be R.
FOLEY SQUARE — 5:00PM
LAB/SHUL’S SABBATH QUEEN LIVE LITURGY + CONVERSATION
Like something straight out of Transparent, Lab/Shul is a god-optional Jewish community where you drink before “live musical liturgy” and then “chill” after. Lab/Shul hosts Sabbath Queen in various places every week, and this week they’re convening at performance art hub Invisible Dog—during the post-liturgy chill session, an open conversation about what it feels like to be an American in this “time of transition” (plans for action, best intentions) will accompany a protest poster-making session. RSVP required.
INVISIBLE DOG — 6:00PM – KIDDUSH
Shellshag and Antibodies are hosting this benefit for the Women’s March on Washington, and it’s only $8—that’s awesome. Bands include Puppies, Peter Stampfel, Snakeskin, and Antibodies, plus speakers from the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) and AIDs Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP). Silent Barn is known for the fringe; this is bound to be radical.
SILENT BARN — 8:00PM
#WEAREHER NIGHT OF FEMALE EMPOWERMENT
All-women bands, singers, performers, and DJs including Beccs, RAINE, and abbi press. This ticket-optional event at Friends & Lovers asks for a $10-$20 donation at the door, which benefits (of course) Planned Parenthood and the ACLU. The after party features HARUKA, DJ Perly, and DJ Mihoko.
FRIENDS & LOVERS — 7:00PM – 10:00PM
Galleries are closing, museums are offering free admission or tours, and everyone is mad. The Whitney is offering free admission “to affirm our commitment to open dialogue, civic engagement, and the diversity of American art and culture,” they say. It’s a great time to see My America, an exploration of immigration, ethnicity, and race in America. At 11 a.m., several dedicated speakers will re-affirm their resistance and offer plans for the future. The New Museum is also pay-what-you-wish.
GALLERIES, MUSEUMS, ETC.
KEEP IT TOGETHER
Part of a new bi-monthly series of benefit concerts, Gold Sounds Bar in Bushwick is hosting No Nets, Almost Aimless, The Thirds, and more. Bring a coat to donate to One Warm Coat! Tickets are $10 and proceeds benefit the Ali Forney Center for LGBTQ Youth.
GOLD SOUNDS — 7:30PM – 2:00AM
WATCH PUPPIES & KITTIES
Instead of putting on the inauguration, Hinterlands Bar in Flatbush will play a curated selection of the best cute-animal videos on the internet. That’s right—pandas, puppies, kitties, baby ducks, piglets, the works. Yes, the bar sells beer, and no, your kids cannot drink with you. Is this escapism? Sure is, folks.
HINTERLANDS BAR — ALL DAY
BEYOND PATIENCE & FORTITUDE
The cute little City Reliquary in Williamsburg is getting serious: their programming from now until March is aimed at getting people civically involved and educated. On Friday, they’re hosting a poster-and-button making party. They’ll also be giving out free “Know Your Rights!” posters from Interference Archive and the ACLU, and RESIST!, a political comic. Loud Box will perform Aaron Copeland’s “Lincoln Portrait.” $10 at the door.
CITY RELIQUARY — 7:00PM – 10:00PM
————SATURDAY, JANUARY 21————
(AKA The First Day, AKA Women’s Day)
WOMEN’S MARCH ON WASHINGTON: NYC CHAPTER
This major movement started right after the election; for more information on how it started and what issues they represent, read this. It stands to be the biggest march on Washington in our nation’s history, with thousands more marches happening in every state. Smaller factions are organizing their own mini-marches within this larger march—Lady Parts Justice League is marching in Group 8 at 2:00 p.m., for example—but if you just want to march alone, register and march in Group 16 at 4:00 p.m. There will be speakers and presentations all day at One Dag Hammarskjold Plaza, the main rally and convening point.
MANHATTAN, ONE DAG HAMMARSKJOLD PLAZA — 11:00AM – 5:00PM
PARTY LIKE IT’S 1973
The Lady Parts Justice League, founded by Lizz Winstead (you might know her as the co-creator of the Daily Show), is throwing a party after a long day of marching. Tickets start at $20 in advance and benefit Lady Parts Justice League (the name explains what they do, but check this out) and celebrate the passing of Roe v. Wade.
ONE UN DIPLOMAT BALLROOM — 7:00PM – 11:00PM
————MONDAY, JANUARY 23————
(AKA Commence Drinking to Forget)
FUNDRAISE A GLASS FOR PLANNED PARENTHOOD
The beautiful people at August Laura are holding an open bar from 6 p.m. – 7 p.m. with a suggested donation of $20. After that, drinks are normal (in price only; drinks at August Laura are never “normal”), and a portion of proceeds from the entire night will benefit Planned Parenthood. Alyssa Sartor (of The Bar Room) designed a few new tipples and named them after women’s rights activists born in Brooklyn “in order to highlight women’s accomplishments and embody their spirit during this tense political climate.” You see what they did there with spirit?! Oh glory.
AUGUST LAURA — 6:00PM – 10:00PM (No link! Just trust us, and trust them.)