Things I Have Mistaken for the Sound of the G Train Coming

G train

  1. The A train
  2. The C train
  3. The F train
  4. A pigeon trapped in the Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
  5. A rat running down the tracks
  6. A man with a singular cough
  7. A fly buzzing too closely to my ear
  8. My pulse pounding when the panic about how late I’m going to be AGAIN becomes palpable
  9. A little boy screaming PENIS!
  10. A little girl barreling down the platform on a scooter
  11. A stroller that’s bigger than a car bumping down the stairwell
  12. A pack of teens, walking no louder than a herd of elephants, but no more quietly either
  13. Someone—a real-life hero—tearing a Batman vs Superman poster of the wall and crumpling it up
  14. In the distance, more and more distinctly, snoring
  15. The crackle of the PA system before a voice announces that a G train has just arrived one station away
  16. The garbage train



  1. You know what’s even worse? When you have been waiting for the A/C train in the morning at your stop, but haven’t been able to get on the two that have passed because assholes from the G train (who arrived AFTER you) shoved their way in front of you and onto the train.
    Seriously, no sympathy for G train riders. None.

    • How dare you insult and demean G trains riders!
      The G train itself already does that, thank you.
      New York City Subways are for the swift and strong of heart of my dear.
      Not for the weak or slow.
      Perhaps you should try ….Boise?

      • Oh honey, I’ve been living in this city for 25 years. But, OK, I’ll go to Boise – makes perfect sense.
        Thanks for schooling me on the subway system here. I’d advise you not to confuse pushy, entitled and obnoxious with swift and strong, but I think it’s too late.
        (PS – I lived off the G train in the past, but still managed not to be a dick about catching a connecting train.)


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here