Northeast Williamsburg Is Brooklyn’s Newest Fake Neighborhood

This is now a totally new place, really!
This is now a totally new place, really!

Guess what? Brooklyn has a brand new neighborhood. It’s called “Northeast Williamsburg.” And who do we have to thank for this totally necessary addition to the Brooklyn neighborhood canon? A real estate agent, of course. As DNAinfo reports, a Corcoran agent created a campaign to promote the idea of “Northeast Williamsburg” in January, and it’s, uh, really catching on?

According to realtor Lyon Porter, Northeast Williamsburg comprises the area bound by the Lorimer, Graham, and Grand L stops, as well as the BQE and Grand Street—an area heretofore simply called “Williamsburg.”

So why the change? Porter, who has lived in the area since 2002, explains: “It has mom and pop shops mixed in with new business.”

Ok, sure. Funny, though, because this also reminds me of another place: Williamsburg.

To be fair, Porter did provide DNAinfo with more justification: Northeast Williamsburg is marked by “quiet, residential streets, mostly lined with townhouses, that range in price from $1.5 to $2.5 million,” and that “It’s a real enclave. It’s a real neighborhood. It deserves its own little distinction.”

Oh, wait: Still sounds just like Williamsburg.

Of course, in the age of “Quooklyn” and “BoCoCa” at least Porter didn’t follow the trend of other made-up neighborhood nicknames that use fluff-words or, uh, non-cardinal directions. This is because, Porter explains, it “wouldn’t seem authentic.”

Still skeptical? You’re not alone, as DNAinfo discovered in an “unscientific survey” best summed up by the following former Williamsburg resident:

“I’ve always thought it was Williamsburg… just Williamsburg,” said Anthony Delia, who is part-owner of Napolitano Pharmacy on Graham Avenue, and who had to leave the neighborhood ten years ago for Long Island when rents got too high. “I feel like they’re trying to categorize it [and] collect on it.”

Ding. Ding. Ding.