Bushwick Had the City’s Most Burglaries This Year Because Gentrifiers Forgot to Lock Doors

Knickerbocker Avenue, Bushwick.

Mechanical locks may have been invented more than six thousand years ago, but newcomers to Bushwick, according to the local precinct’s Commanding Officer, are plain old forgetting to use them.

As of last week, NYPD crime statistics showed Bushwick had tallied 457 burglaries for the year. That number is about fifty more than East New York, which ranked second. DNAinfo reports the 83rd Precinct’s Commanding Officer Maximo Tolentino blames newcomers to the neighborhood who are “accustomed to a different lifestyle,” and who “have absolutely no problem leaving their doors open.” Many of the entries, though he did not specify exactly how many, were unforced.

New York City may be getting safer—Bushwick still had fewer burglaries this year than it had last—but Tolentino saw enough of a trend to remind residents that they are still, you know, living in New York City. “You’re moving from probably a nice area to the city, either for work or lifestyle. Whatever the case may be, you just can’t assume that every neighbor is going to be neighborly.”

All of us can use occasional friendly reminders from Commanding Officers that our mothers used to give us. It’s so hard to remember everything we’re supposed to do all of the time! Luckily, as George W. Bush once pointed out, “Fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.” So if all goes according to plan in 2016, Bushwick will be filled with really quick studies.

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