Sex-related gifts can be tricky. We guess. Maybe. Or maybe not, because this was easily the most fun category to put together this year. We hope you—and whomever receives these gifts from you—agree.
Womanizer in Black and Leopard
As explained by Babeland (and, apparently, Oprah agrees?), the Womanizer sucks, i.e. it literally latches on and is designed to suck on the clit. Plus, it shares a name with a Britney Spears song. So! Get one.
Tenga Egg Hard Boiled Edition
The fact that it says “Easy Beat” right on Tenga’s packaging should kind of explain it all: This is an amazing toy for masturbation. And because the greatest gift is that you can give to yourself, the Tenga Egg is the gift that keeps on giving.
Salua Stardust Cami Top and Shorts
brooklynfoxlingerie.com $114 and $98
Silky and sweet, this cami and short duo is perfect for lounging around in all year.
A Sport and a Pastime by James Salter
Unlike, oh, almost every other man of his generation, Salter could write sex. Read it here.
The Lover by Marguerite Duras
You know who else could write sex? Duras. Give this to someone you love and then watch Hiroshima Mon Amour with them, thus ruining them from ever wanting to be with anyone else because you’ve proven yourself to be perfect.
Bordelle Cabaret Soft Triangle Bra,
Webbed Bondage Garter,
Webbed Suspender Garter Belt
brooklynfoxlingerie.com $184, $118, and $210
Does this set really need an explanation? No. We didn’t think so.
Calvin Klein Modern Cotton Signature Bralette and Thong in White
brooklynfoxlingerie.com $28 and $20
The 90s are back, obviously, and nothing was more 90s than the Calvin Klein label peeking out over the waist of our jeans. Love. Love. Love.
La Perla Graphique Couture Carioca Bra
and Thong in Black
brooklynfoxlingerie.com $475 and $216
No, but seriously? Do we need to explain this gift?
Kelsey Henderson The Bad Ones
Sure, Alexander Hamilton’s the real hottie of the paper money crew, but there’s still something undeniably hot about seeing the Father of our Country’s face covered in fetish masks.
Bristols 6 Nippies, Gold
Not a good Secret Santa gift because, obviously, but at only twenty-five bucks, these pasties are a steal.
Glycerine- and paraben-free, this organic lubricant is water-based, so its safe to use with condoms and toys.
Iroha Sakura Vibrator
This comes in the prettiest cherry blossom pink, so whoever is lucky enough to get it will be reminded of the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens in the spring! Or, you know, other pink things!