A Fan’s Notes, or: A Mostly Complete History of One Direction

oneD

Ed. note: In honor of the release of One Direction’s album Made in the A.M. today, we decided to release the private correspondence from Brooklyn Magazine photo director, Jane Bruce also known as a One Direction super fan, to Brooklyn Magazine executive Kristin Iversen, also known as someone who, before receiving this email, had never before heard a One Direction song, but still, obviously, knew that Harry was the hot one. Below is the email as written, with editor’s notes when applicable. Enjoy, One-D fans and newbies alike.

flash back to 2010. one direction was on the x factor uk, all entering individually, then apparent genius simon cowell put them together as a group. their first song as a group, yeah you fucking guessed it, torn.

what’s next you ask? well, obviously, total eclipse of the heart. yeah i dunno what the fake blood is about. the uk is weird.

so they finished third. i know, wtf? apparently their last song was forever young. swoon. so simon cowell signs them and they get fucking huge. duh.

so then, they enter the us. AMERICA. release an album, the first hit being the adorably fresh what makes you beautiful. their haircuts are mildly better, and they’re a year closer to legal. plus, music videos are fun, and they’re doing that now.

quick pause to say that a huge part of their charm is that they’re all like, besties. they mostly fuck around and have fun in their videos, but we also learn here early that harry is the heartthrob. but the comradery is strong.

same album, but now there’s a ballad. and cute fall outfits. and here’s another video from that same album! but here their outfits are more coordinated and adorable, and they’re cruising around london. how very british of them. plus, it’s so catchy. come on.

now it’s 2012. time for another album. and another single. live while we’re young, they seem more american now. they’re dressed like hipsters, and having fun together (still their thing), but the songs aren’t great. i bet you’re like, but where’s the ballad?!?!?! well, here it is. yeah, i also just noticed niall has braces in this video. pop stars, they’re just like us! after that you’re probably like, BORING, when are they gonna dress as inmates???? well, problem solved. uber poppy jam kiss you to the rescue. god, this song is the jam. and another great example of them being besties. try not to think about the millions they’re making, it makes it less enjoyable. plus they look so cute as sailors.

ok this next album is where i sort of enter super fandom. first hit off the album is best song ever, a bit hyperbolic but whatever, i won’t argue. sidenote, their hair has gotten so much better, right?! they’re almost adults. and they’re dancing in unison, which is a thing they never do (for obvious reasons). i know what you’re saying, “slow it down!!!” you’re ready for a ballad. story of my life is here to save the day. i’ll ignore all the shit that makes no sense, photography-wise. it’s a nice little song. one of my favorites off this album is this jam, midnight memories. here you realize that basically causing destruction while looking cute is their thing. whatever, i love this song.

you & i is also on this album, but this song is lame. little black dress is better. happily is good too.

ok, now shit is getting serious. it’s 2014, and they release their most recent album, four, with the first single being steal my girl. i actually have no clue, but if i had to guess, i’d say this is when harry is dating taylor swift, cause he’s lookin real good [Ed. note: They had actually already broken up. But Jane clearly didn’t care.] . night changes is another song on this album, though it’s not my favorite. i like 18 and girl almighty.

now it’s 2015. zayn has left the band. [Ed. note: This is a very big deal to basically every One Direction fan except Jane Bruce, because she has no time for Zayn.] they’re a foursome. they release drag me down, which rules, obviously. it’s almost too bad that at this point i feel like they’ve reached peak BOY BAND, and then they’re like, jk we’re breaking up (spoiler alert). so they release a song called infinity, which is okay, then perfect, which is exactly what the song title says it is. fuck, this song is good.

today they released a farewell song (no official video, unfortunately) that you saw me listening to in the office and being sad. their final album is out 11/13 (which is insane because that’s the same day the new biebs album is out, like, are you kidding? which will i listen to?). [Ed. note: It was a long night for Jane Bruce.]

and after all that, i truly recommend their individual x factor auditions, for old times sake, it’s cute.

this is the single best email i have ever written. mic drop.

Follow Jane Bruce for all your One Direction and Justin Bieber related news on twitter @janeebruce 

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