Libra | Sep 23–Oct 22
Recently, while walking down the street, I overheard someone talking on his phone. This is what he said: “I’m only in it to win it.” Beyond my realization that there are people out there who are the living embodiment of a No Fear T-shirt, this also made me think of you, Libra. Why? Simply this: Do not be in something just to win it. Oh, there’s plenty of things coming up for you to conquer, but it’s not really about being first, exactly. Rather, it’s about coming in ahead of the kind of person who is “in it to win it.” Beat those guys and you’ll be fine.
Scorpio | Oct 23–Nov 21
Why do people talk about running around in circles like it’s a bad thing? Run only in a straight line and you’ll find yourself really, really far from home. And for you, Scorpio, staying centered now is a good idea. It’s where you’ll gather strength and find the resolve to get done what you need to get done. Also, your refrigerator is always stocked with really good food, isn’t it? I’d stay close to that level of abundance if I were you too.
Sagittarius | Nov 22–Dec 21
What if you just stopped trying? What if you flat-out ignored the people you can’t deal with right now? What if you just tucked your head in the sand so that all the problems in your world were impossible to see or hear and so effectively just disappeared? Haha: “what if.” All of this is exactly what you are doing right now, Sagittarius, and you should really stop because when you lift your head up again, you’re going to be all alone.
Capricorn | Dec 22–Jan 19
When do you think you will be found out? Seen for who you really are? (Whatever that means; whoever that is.) I think, Capricorn, you’re worried it will happen sometime soon. You know you’re faking it. As I see it, you have two choices. One, face the consequences of being not what you pretend to be, and feel free because of it. Or two, just keep lying and secure this prison of your own making even further. Your choice!
Aquarius | Jan 20–Feb 18
What if none of this was real? That’s actually not a question. Breaking: None of this is real. Or at least, everything that worries you right now is all in your head. And yes, to quote Fiona Apple: “So’s everything.” But also, you can change what’s in your head a lot more easily than you can change what’s in somebody else’s. So figure out what it is you want to have happen, and make it so.
Pisces | Feb 19–Mar 20
You learned long ago there’s no use living in the past, fun as it is to go back and visit once in awhile. And yet it’s been hard for me—and I think you too, Pisces—to not want to go back to the summer, when the days were long, and the nights were hot, and the taste of peach pie was never far from my lips and fingers. Or your lips and fingers. Or both. Anyway, peach season might be over, but it’s still a good time to hunker down with some pie. May I suggest plum? I’ve got a killer recipe.
Aries | Mar 21–Apr 19
I won’t lie—I’ve been avoiding you, Aries. You’re a real energy-suck lately, flailing and shouting and marking your territory all in an attempt to get everyone’s attention. Or, at least, mine. But I’m not interested. Nobody is. Work on something besides your own destruction. Then maybe we can talk.
Taurus | Apr 20–May 20
“Why do women always have to come clean?” Chris Kraus asked this question in I Love Dick and it reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, Taurus. Basically this: Don’t worry so much about the dirt that’s on and around you right now. It’s not your fault and it’s not your problem. In fact, it might even be your salvation. Use it to make something, something pure, maybe, or even something totally filthy. Just make it something you find beautiful.
Gemini | May 21–Jun 21
When I was younger I was pretty sure I could communicate nonverbally as well as I could with words. This frequently led to a lot of confusion because I wasn’t surrounded by what you’d call mindreaders exactly. Over time I’ve learned to use my words, and you should too, Gem. Do it enough, and you’ll transcend the verbal and get into the whole “communicating with feelings” territory. But, you know, baby steps.
Cancer | Jun 22–Jul 22
I thought I heard you crying out for help the other night, Cancer, contorting your body and grasping at… what, I didn’t know. But now I realize you weren’t flailing, you were dancing. Which seems like it should be a good thing, except I fear that your celebration is a dark one, and your joy borders on pain. Settle down, Cancer. Balance is always restored eventually, and it will hurt if you’re not prepared for it.
Leo | July 23–Aug 22
Ever wonder why it is that you feel all alone, Leo? It’s not, as you like to tell yourself, because people are jealous or can’t handle your heat and your fire. The problem isn’t that you have too much energy, it’s that you get your power by sapping the strength of those around you. You’re exhausting. If you don’t want to be alone forever, if you want someone to knock right into you instead of orbiting from a safe distance, try not to think about yourself as being the center of the universe all the time. And then see what happens.
Virgo | Aug 23–Sep 22
Serious question for you: Have you seen much of Beyoncé lately? Should we be nervous about the quasi-disappearance of the world’s archetypal Virgo? Or should we see it as a metaphor for the way that many who fall under this sign have lately lost their way, drifting in a very un-Virgo-like manner. It’s time to reorient. Make lists. Do the things that are on those lists. Drop a surprise album. Something. Anything. Let us know you’re alive.
By Liv Saga