Wall Street Research Firm Thinks Value Stocks Are “The Next Brooklyn”

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It’s a lazy analogy, but it’s also one we’ll begrudgingly admit is kind of spot on: Jeffries, a Wall Street research firm, today compared certain low value stocks–the kind people can buy for a meager price—to different up and coming neighborhoods in Brooklyn. The firm made this correlation because anything that’s cheap and fast and approaching a modicum of popularity is well, you know, the next Brooklyn. Obviously, duh! 

CNN Money was first to report Jeffries’ tongue-in-cheek assessment of the 2015 stock market, and boy does it lay bare the Brooklyn-esque climate encroaching upon Wall Street. It’s pretty clear this CNN reporter has a well-conceived knowledge of Brooklyn’s trendy geography, or at least has read some informative reportage in the New York Times Real Estate section. CNN reports that according to Jeffries, “value stocks could be as up and coming as Brooklyn neighborhoods like Bushwick, Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights.”

Ok! But it does beg the question: which artisanal sandwich hawking neighborhood reflects which soon-to-be profitable stock? Is Bushwick AT&T? What about Crown Heights, could we liken that neighborhood to Best Buy? What about Pfizer? Is Pfizer Bed-Stuy? I think Pfizer might be Bed-stuy. We’d appreciate a little specificity because there’s a lot of stocks to choose from, you guys.

While it’s not really worth a tantrum or that much indignation, it’s obvious that to people who don’t know neighborhoods like Bushwick or Crown Heights, these communities are nothing more than a punchline at the end of another annoying hipster joke, which is, you know, annoying in itself.

Anyway, here’s the most Brooklyn tweet CNN ever issued. It’s great. And totally “Brooklyn,” right?

Follow Sam Blum on Twitter @Blumnessmonster 

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