Hey Williamsburg Idiots, Lock Your Doors

The Great Train Robbery - Resampled Edition (1903) - Thomas Edison

Look, being burgled is scary. It’s one of those New York City (or anywhere, really) nightmares that you  come home and find your place ransacked and yourself suddenly laptop-less and television-less. Usually my sympathy is with the victim. But when there’s a 24 percent rise in theft in Greenpoint and Williamsburg in the last year because people just don’t lock their goddamn doors? No. People. I know we all live in post-Bloomberg fantastical New York City, but this isn’t your Oberlin dorm. You could run around barefoot in those heady days too, and here you’ll just get a nasty infection. For the love of God. Lock your door.

Police told DNA Info that more than half of the residential burglaries in the 94th precinct in 2014 were because people left their doors unlocked or windows open. There were 236 burglaries from 2013 to 2014, up from 191 the previous year. Every other major crime reportedly remained flat.

Which means, and I’m just spitballing here, that this is not the Great Train Robbery-level of criminal mastermind at work. These burglars are opportunists, and you should just not give them the opportunity by using some common sense and locking your doors. Honestly. Not that hard.

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