Terrible Things Happened On the Subway This Weekend

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Riding the subway always comes with a series of hazards, from weird smells to aggressive preachers to dudes who hog three seats for no reason, but this weekend seemed to be a banner one for bad behavior in the tunnels. Consider exhibit A: a man who fell asleep riding the train at 8:30 pm completely naked except for a pair of sneakers, and then ended up on the cover of the New York Post the next morning.

An editor at fashion magazine Daily Front Row, Peter Davis, took the snap that now lives in infamy, of the man nodded off in the buff. “He was oblivious. He kind of looked at me when I took the picture, but he didn’t seem to care,” he told the Post. Then, thanks to the instant infamy of the nudist subway rider, another tipster posted a photo of the same dude naked on a park bench, jamming out to some headphones. It’s ridiculous! Where is 30 Rock when we need it? And also, I don’t know, it’s also kind of sad. We are all the naked subway rider dude at some point in our lives, right? Metaphorically speaking even? No? Ok, moving on.

Another no good very bad incident occurred on the F train when a dude slapped a woman across the face and started an enormous subway brawl that, of course, is now a viral sensation on YouTube. The woman was insulting and taunting the guy as her friends egged her on. At one point in the video, she hits the dude on the back of the head and says “What you call me?” before the dude turns around and slaps her hard enough to throw her back several feet. A full-scale fight breaks out, with other guys sitting in the subway car jumping in to pummel the dude and the girl’s entourage leaping up to attack him. It’s not the most heartening instance of human cooperation ever, is what I’m saying. Absolutely do not check the comments on the YouTube clip unless you want to read a lot of racist and sexist garbage to start off your week.

And straphangers, please. Can we not? We’re all in this together, after all.

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