On May 9, Planet Earth officially enters Phase III of the Brooklyn-as-Brand world domination master plan, when the Chamber of Commerce launches ExploreBK.com.
Local tech company BlankSlate will develop the site, create content and sell ads alongside the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce, who plan to “take all of the great things in the coolest place in America, from shopping to dining to events, and put it into a one-stop shop website for all things Brooklyn,” President Carlo Scissura told the Daily News. (Congratulations on living in the coolest place in America!)
While the city already has an official tourism website (NYCgo.com, the #1 resource for your next Bushwick or Gowanus walking tour), ExploreBK.com will be the first large-scale, Brooklyn-centered directory of businesses, hotels, events, shopping and restaurants.
One can only hope the new venture will fall somewhere between the two extremes of Brooklyn tourism tropes: (spend five minutes at Brooklyn Bridge Park, then walk back to Manhattan!) and (there is a password-protected vintage handcrafted jewelry shop where you must go through the second door and ask for Agnes. Agnes’ twin sister Gertrude will then lead you to the secret vegan pizzeria in the back. Don’t order anything, it’s a trap!).
And please, for the love of Jesus, do not include the Girls bus tour.
Follow Rebecca Jennings on Twitter @rebexxxxa.