And the Name of the Newest Brooklyn Neighborhood Is…

Look how beautiful Parkwanus is in the summer.
  • c/o nyc.gov
  • Look how beautiful Parkwanus is in the summer.

PARKWANUS! That’s right, guys. Parkwanus. A charming portmanteau of Park Slope and Gowanus, this neighborhood straddles that liminal area around 3rd and 4th Avenues that causes people to just drop dead from confusion over what to call it. Well, confusion be damned! There is now a name for this area, so you will never have to drop dead again. Or something.

Gothamist reports that this new neighborhood was named by Fucked in Park Slope in a piece written about the new Dinosaur BBQ which is located right smack in the middle of Parkwanus. Not everyone loves the name Parkwanus, though. Per Gothamist, “the Internet, of course, is already apoplectic with disgust over Brooklyn’s latest non-neighborhood,” which I think is a little extreme. I mean, sure, it’s a terrible name if you pronounce it to rhyme with “Gowanus.” But have some fun with it! Use a hard, long “a” sound. Make it rhyme with anus. After all, there’s a pretty good argument to be made that this area is already kind of the butthole of Brooklyn. Why shouldn’t that be evident in its name? And, by the way, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being the butthole of Brooklyn. There’s nothing wrong with buttholes at all. They’re just a little dirty sometimes, and so, coincidentally, is Parkwanus!

Ultimately, this is about embracing change. And progress. Parkwanus is a step forward for Brooklyn. And, so really, it’s a step forward for all of us. And really, Parkwanus might sound weird to you now, but think of how strange saying BoCoCa felt at first, and now it’s like one of the top five words that I say everyday. I’m pretty sure it’ll be the same with Parkwanus. Just wait and see.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen