Earlier this week, we learned pretty categorically that if you live off of the G? Well, no one is ever going to love you. Probably not even your parents! If they ever did to begin with, that is. It’s harsh, but maybe something you should have considered before tethering your life to the worst train in all of Brooklyn, no?
Now, the emotionally healthy among you will probably see this and think “I don’t know, if people really care about each other, love will find a way, regardless of inconvenient commute logistics. Most people worth dating aren’t that jaded and shitty.” Fine. I buy that. But casual sex, or even casual dating? Eh. Probably not. Best to stack the odds in your favor so that you can be the one doling out heedless romantic rejections, and not the other way around. So, with that in mind, let’s take at which Brooklyn trains are right for every single stage of your hypothetical dating life. Start packing up your current apartment now.