How-To: Make An OKCupid Profile That Will Actually Get You Laid (Or Love)

Everybodys got to love somebody sometime.

  • Everybody’s got to love somebody sometime.

So, you want to find love. Or sex. Or the holy dating grail, a healthy, fulfilling combination of the two. Seems like a reasonable goal. One that might be aided by technology? After all, why leave things up to fate, when you can leave things up to algorithms?

Sure, it doesn’t sound as old-fashioned and poetic as “we went home together from a bar,” but haven’t we gotten past old stigmas at this point? Online dating is just a convenient way to game the system of the dating world, and also, a fun ego boost if you’re bummed out and need to be reminded of your options. Nothing makes you feel more in-control of your destiny than a service that essentially lets you shop for people. Basically this can all be super positive, if you let it.

It can also be a creepy, time-wasting disaster. And no matter what, there will always be some element of this. Casting a wide net has its ups and downs, which generally come in the form of gibberish sex requests from elderly strangers. These are unavoidable. That said, there are ways to game your gaming of the system, or, more simply, make a profile that people you’d actually like will actually be into. We promise it doesn’t involve (too much) lying, or any gratuitous nudity.