Reasons Why Brooklyn Is the Worst Place Ever: a Preemptive Attack
There Are Too Many Different Extreme Sports
I consider riding a bike on Flatbush Avenue an extreme sport, and am shocked that so many people do it. What’s the appeal? Death? No matter how many roosters your neighbors keep, death should still not be an option. Well, even taking roosters out of the equation, Brooklyn has become the home of a weird subculture of people who like extreme sports, like surfing in the frigid waters off the Rockaways. And, yes, I know the Rockaways are in Queens, but many of the people who take to the waves out there are indeed from Brooklyn. I’ve also seen a lot of people on unicycles in Prospect Park. This is extreme. There are other words for adults on unicycles, but I will stick with extreme so as not to offend anyone. I don’t know. Don’t we all live in the city so that we don’t have to do anything physical? Isn’t that the point? We don’t want to commune with nature or be in touch with our bodies? Could I possibly have it all wrong? I guess I probably do, because there are so many Brooklynites who engage in really extreme physical activities that I must be missing something. But that’s okay. I’d rather just stick to my form of exercise, otherwise known as “sprinting down the platform for the G train.”