Reasons Why Brooklyn Is the Worst Place Ever: a Preemptive Attack

I just want to make clear, right from the start, that I don’t think Brooklyn is the worst place ever. I love Brooklyn. I am not saying that it is definitely the best place ever, but that is only because I’m trying to rein in my hyperbolic tendencies. It is, though, an amazing place. However, after I read a piece in Vice called “Reasons Why Los Angeles Is the Worst Place Ever” and smugly found myself agreeing with the points the author was making about how terrible LA is, I realized that basically all of the reasons why LA is so terrible might also be why people would think Brooklyn is so terrible. So, rather than wait for someone who actually hates Brooklyn—not that I’ve met such a person but we all know they’re out there—to write this list, I decided to do it myself. And I decided to use the exact same reasons that were offered up in Vice because they totally still apply.