Reasons Why Brooklyn Is the Worst Place Ever: a Preemptive Attack

I just want to make clear, right from the start, that I don’t think Brooklyn is the worst place ever. I love Brooklyn. I am not saying that it is definitely the best place ever, but that is only because I’m trying to rein in my hyperbolic tendencies. It is, though, an amazing place. However, after I read a piece in Vice called “Reasons Why Los Angeles Is the Worst Place Ever” and smugly found myself agreeing with the points the author was making about how terrible LA is, I realized that basically all of the reasons why LA is so terrible might also be why people would think Brooklyn is so terrible. So, rather than wait for someone who actually hates Brooklyn—not that I’ve met such a person but we all know they’re out there—to write this list, I decided to do it myself. And I decided to use the exact same reasons that were offered up in Vice because they totally still apply.


  1. It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at. It’s about making the most of living together, forgetting anything that may cause barriers, to either collaborate on society, or ignore each other for society. Otherwise the entire experiment doesn’t work. If so, we should just go back to being an agrarian society and forget modernity and technology. It might help to promote solutions, knowing that accounting problems amount to accounting those responsible, accumulating greater debt of some sort, and amounting to nothing but new configurations about the same ol’ problems. What do you think?

  2. That dude/chick above me is on serious drugs.

    Anyway, I hate brooklyn because of your last paragraph mostly. All these people not born in brooklyn who moved to brooklyn who think they own brooklyn telling other people not born in brooklyn to stay the hell out of brooklyn.

    In other words, dead on.

  3. Not everyone that surfs in Rockaway is from Brooklyn or Williamsburg/Bushwick. Which is the Brooklyn that I think your reffering to. Brooklyn hipsters only recently discovered that there was surfing in Rockaway. There has been a core group of surfers there for a very very long time. Just sayin’


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