I don’t even want to talk about this. I want to cover my ears and eyes, and hide in a room with several stiff drinks until this all goes away. I’m too cranky to even think of a good “très Brooklyn” joke about this.
But for you people, I’ll face this demon. Parents in Brooklyn are now taking their babies, before they’re able to make any words at all, to French classes. There, I said it, okay?!
New “Baby French” classes at Crown Heights’ Candy Rush are exploding in popularity among parents hoping to “enrich their children’s multicultural Brooklyn upbringing.”
In my day we had Muzzy, but whatever, this is what’s happening now. Mostly, since the participants are, in fact, babies, this consists of puppet shows and performances of tales like The Three Little Pigs, performed entirely in French for our borough’s more cultured enfants. I’ll admit that this does sound like a reasonable and fun children’s activity.
And listen, there are way worse things to do with your kids than try to teach them French at an outrageously early age, and who am I, a childless self-serving crank, to truly judge.
I just, I don’t know. Can someone bring in a Brooklyn baby to help figure out if what I’m feeling right now is ennui? I’m pretty sure it’s ennui.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.