Can New York’s New Micro-Apartments Fit the Man with the World’s Most Macro-Penis?

No, I did not shoplift a baguette from Brooklyn Larder!

  • No, I did not shoplift a baguette from Brooklyn Larder!

New Yorker Jonah Falcon has to deal with things that most of us don’t.

Like always getting pulled aside by airport security because TSA agents suspect that he has a rifle strapped to his leg.

Thing is, he doesn’t.

He just happens to have the world’s largest penis.

Life isn’t always fair.

Besides never being able to travel by air without being flagged, Brooklyn-born Jonah Falcon has other crosses to bear.

Crosses specific to being an ordinary man with a mighty penis in our fair city.

I mean, how exactly does a man with a macro-penis fit into a city of micro-apartments?

Is he also one of the very, very few white men to get stop-and-frisked because it looks like he’s carrying a weapon at all times?

Falcon seems a bit confused as to why he was even stopped earlier this month by TSA agents since, as he tells the Huffington Post, “I had my ‘stuff’ strapped to the left. I wasn’t even erect at the time.”

But the TSA still took the precautions of putting “some powder on [his] pants, probably a test for explosives.”

So, even at a flaccid nine inches—Falcon only reaches a full thirteen and a half inches when fully erect—the TSA assumed that he must have been carrying a stick of dynamite in his pocket.

Happily, Falcon doesn not seem to upset by his ordeal, saying that the next time he flies he will “just wear bike shorts, that way they’ll know.”

It’s nice that he can still maintain a sense of humor.

I feel like, for many, it could be hard to maintain a sense of levity when forced to carry around the heavy (it’s probably pretty heavy, right? it’s just so big!) burden of having the world’s biggest penis.


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