July 5 will be “Williamsburg Night” at MCU Park when the Brooklyn Cyclones play against the Williamsport Crosscutters (a hipster team from Pennsylvania, see right), Sheepshead Bites reports. This means, you see, that it’s Hipster Night. Ready for the jokes? “Any bearded fans receive special vouchers,” those with Cyclones tattoos will win a customized jersey, and that there will be a “skinny jeans post-game run the bases,” according to a promotional flier. There will also be a skeeball tournament.
Well, I guess that wasn’t so bad. (Hey, it might even be fun!) But Sheepshead Bites’s foray into hipster cliches is much worse:
I can’t help but wonder if this is a serious offer or a joke meant to appeal to the hipster’s predictable—and exhausted—sense of irony. Or maybe it’s genuine, and the folks at the Cyclones actually think that hipsters like being described as hipsters, as if these kazoo-voiced, twig-shaped social dregs would say, “Like, yah, I’ve got skinny jeans and a beard and I totally love skeeball.”
Of course, we all know the first sign of a hipster is denial. “I’m not a hipster. I’m from Brooklyn. I moved here seven months ago and a homeless guy stole the iPad (the one my daddy bought me) when I was taking Instagram photos of graffiti in dark alleys in Williamspoint-Stuy, so I’m, like, def real Brooklyn.”
What are hipster haters even talking about anymore?
Follow Henry Stewart on Twitter @henrycstewart