- I can hear your stomach growling from here.
We sit down to the spread and get our forks dirty.
Teeny: “Spicy! Too spicy, maybe. You guys, I’m sorry. It might be too spicy.”
No complaints crop among the group’s mmms.
Lizzie: “Hawt and tang-gee.”
Teeny: “It’s a pasta dish you can eat without feeling…” She makes a claw with her hand and puffs out her cheeks. I think she means “bloated.”
Our dinner date happens in the wake of what will be known in Twitter history as When That Stupid Sharknado Film Was A Thing. Although the idea of airborne sharks and Tara Reid ranks as unanimously scary amongst this group, a more frightening and believable natural disaster comes up in conversation.
Lizzie: “You’re more likely to be hit by lightning the more lightning—”
Teeny: “You actually become a conductor. If you get struck by lightning, you have like, 50 percent chance of getting struck again. [Because] you’re attracting electrical currents. It’s happened to people—they get struck more than once. Shitty luck, man.”
Lizzie, thumbing her iPhone: “Someone named Roy Sullivan was a park ranger and [got] struck seven times by lightning. And survived all of it.”
Teeny: “SEVEN times?”
Lizzie: “He died of a self-inflicted gun wound.”
Teeny, leaning over: “At the age of 71. Maybe all that lightning made him crazy.”
Lizzie, reading: “‘He was avoided by people later in life because a fear of being hit by lightning and that saddened him.'”
The women emote empathy via a chorus of awws. Teeny breaks it, though, and gets real.
“Fuck that,” she cocks her head, as if issuing a challenge. “Just get hit by lightning, and get hit by lightning together.”
It appears a fortunate crackle already struck these gals, and lucky for us, it looks like they’re gonna maintain that glow as one.