Bands With Pans: Small Black
- The little grill that could, and did.
I ask how he knows so much about cooking, grilling, making food in general. “In high school, working in a couple DC restaurants,” he says. “[At one place,] they served softshell crab. I had to cut the faces off the softshell crab while they’re still alive.” Come again? “You cut it, and kinda wiggle—it keeps moving. You just cut the face off.”
Josh: “That is terrifying.”
Ryan: “What if he cuts off my face? Or anybody’s face?”
Juan, dancing and making wild arm motions: “It was just the eyes, then the throat, and the mouth-sucking hole—whatever. You just cut the face off!”
Jeff: “Just a little Nick Cage-y.”
Juan: “Then right there, when it keeps moving, it gets thrown on the hot—right on the hot griddle. …I don’t remember the first face I cut off.”
Ryan: “Did they have to train you how to cut off the face?”
They did.
All the face removals didn’t convince Juan into a permanent kitchen life. “I wanted to be a chef when I was in high school,” he says. “Then I was like, “This is not the life for me. It’s a terrible life. Instead I’m just gonna be in a band.” It’s very similar actually. …Yeah, it’s a terrible life in similar ways. Cramped in one place all the time. It’s hot. A lot of work, long hours. …A little more glory in the band.”