5 Things To Worry About Before You Die
- if someone expects me to listen to ‘stairway to heaven’ i will come back from the dead and kill them
Bad Playlists In Heaven
So, there’s apparently a thing now called a CataCombo Sound System, which is a coffin with built in speakers so that when you’re dead and buried you can still listen to all the awesome playlists that you put together when you were alive and above ground. The owner of CataCombo helpfully posted his own playlist and it is called “Pause 4-ever” and it includes such songs as John Mayer’s “Perfectly Lonely” and Coldplay’s “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” and while, yes, I would only listen to those songs if I was dead, that’s not the part I’m scared of. The part I’m worried about is that other people—living people—can change the playlist after you’re dead. So, you could be lying there, dead in your coffin, waiting for R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” to come on, annoyed with yourself that you included Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah” because it drags on forever and you heard enough of it when you were alive and then ALL OF A SUDDEN Gotye comes on. YOU WOULD NEVER PUT GOTYE ON YOUR DEATH PLAYLIST. But the living don’t care about you anymore. And there you are, trapped in that coffin, without a remote, for eternity. This worries me.