Reasons Why Brooklyn Is the Worst Place Ever: a Preemptive Attack
The Restaurants Are So Pretentious It’s Like a Joke From a Really Unfunny Movie Making Fun Of Brooklyn
While we don’t have anything quite as bad as LA’s Cafe Gratitude here, where you have to order dishes with names like “I Am Beautiful” when all you want is some hummus, sometimes the Brooklyn restaurant scene can seem like a parody of itself. After all, does anyone really care where the lettuce they’re eating comes from? This isn’t Portland. We can’t ever let ourselves be Portland. And the fact that people will wait on two-hour long lines just to get into the newest foodie haven? That’s the most ridiculous bullshit ever. Nothing is that good. There is always somewhere else to go. Stop debasing yourself just so that you can say you ate at Pok Pok Ny. Have you no shame, Brooklyn?