Reasons Why Brooklyn Is the Worst Place Ever: a Preemptive Attack
There Is Hippy Bullshit Absolutely Everywhere
I remember a time when my grocery store in Clinton Hill—a very dirty and rundown Associated—didn’t carry any organic products. The year was 2001 and I didn’t care about organic milk or free-range eggs. Well, times have sure fucking changed. Now every single corner store has not only organic milk, but almond milk. Like, as a staple! That’s some serious hippy bullshit. People in Williamsburg and Bushwick keep roosters as pets. There are rooftop apiaries. What the fuck? Brooklyn used to be a gritty borough where toxic soil was the norm. Now everyone has a backyard garden and the Park Slope Co-op is the hardest club to get into. Everyone wants to be a hippy. What has happened to us? What Kool-Aid are we drinking? I don’t know, but it’s probably dye-free and made with agave instead of sugar.