Brooklyn’s Best Places to Break Up With Your (Formerly) Loved One
Wonder Wheel
If you want to break up with someone on the Wonder Wheel, you have to do it in a hurry! It’s only open on weekends through the end of October, after that, you’ll have to find somewhere else. Which, maybe the aquarium? It’s appropriately melancholy over by the jellyfish. Anyway. The Wonder Wheel. The reason that this is the perfect place to break up with someone is that you’ll be in an enclosed space, so they have to listen to you and won’t be able to walk away. The flip side of that is that you only have limited time to do the dirty business of breaking someone’s heart. Which is, actually, a good thing, because then it’s just like ripping off a Band-Aid. And once you get off the ride, you can walk right out of that person’s life.
Warning: Do not substitute a break-up on the Wonder Wheel for one on the Cyclone. You want to break someone’s heart, not give them whiplash.